Pediatricians recommend that moms breastfeed, little did I know that this would take 8-10 hours a day. This number doesn’t account for researching superfoods to increase lactation, reading sleep training books, exploring numerous methods to clear clogged milk ducts, or trying different feeding positions. It doesn’t include washing and drying bottles, breast pumps, and endless diaper changes.
Breastfeeding has dramatically changed my life. My needs and aspirations have taken a back seat. It pulled me away from friends, school, recruiting, sports, and all the things that I enjoy doing spontaneously with my husband! My wardrobe had to change because of my new “job”. I only shopped and wore clothes that were convenient for breastfeeding or pumping. It also left me in tears as my nipples were cracked and bleeding every time I put Maya to my breast. I remember lactation consultants coming in and showing me how to get a good latch. Later I would get so angry at myself because I could not recreate or remember how they did it. I persevered. While nearly all infants lose weight in their first two weeks, Maya actually gained a pound and continued gaining weight at a normal rate later on.
I don’t want new mamas to be discouraged by my experience. It is just no one told me that breastfeeding would take so much time, effort, and can be a very painful experience for the first two weeks at least. It is not what I have pictured. I was always seeing photos of glamorous moms with calm newborns attached to their breasts looking so happy and relaxed. I often wondered what was wrong with me and my baby which left me a bit depressed and reduced my milk supply. If you decide to breastfeed your baby, just know that breastfeeding can be a very arduous process that takes time to master. Realistically, a baby will be hooked to your breast all day and night. The good news is that once you nail breastfeeding and mentally accept your “new full-time job,” it would be one of the best experiences of motherhood. Our frequent skin-to-skin contact made us very close and helped me tremendously to reduce the severity of my postpartum depression.
P.S I wrote this post when Maya was 2 months old. She is now 2 years old and still breastfeeding. I am sharing this because I am proud of myself for learning how to breastfeed and finding the strength to continue for so long. I was defeated so many times. I wanted to quit every day. And it would have been totally fine if I choose not to breastfeed. Please don't kill yourself stressing about the milk supply. Do what you can and enjoy snuggles.
